Pathway to a Positive Self-Image

1 You cannot control the external circumstances of your life, but you can control your reactions to them.

2 Optimal health is the product of both physical and mental factors.

3 You could think of yourself as healthy.

4 Things change.

5 Your beliefs are incredibly powerful.

6 The only escape from stress, fear, and doubt is to confront them directly and see them for what they are.

7 Emotions fall into two broad categories: fear and love.

8 Would you rather be right or would you rather experience peace?

9 Accept yourself as you are.

10 Practice forgiveness, letting go.

11 Stay open to life's teachings.

12 Be patient. Patience means mindful awareness. (Borysenko, 1988)

Principles

After being a missionary for about six months, I was transferred to a town near the coast of California with an elder who was also very young. We started working and developed a lasting relationship. As we got to know each other, I began to make observations about the young elder's priorities and desires. I realized that he often talked about principles---that from such-and-such experience he had learned a certain principle or in a certain situation, he thought that such-and-such principle would help to resolve the problem. I was intrigued by his usage of principles and the importance that they played in his life.

I have learned that principles are small and simple values/priorities that can determine conduct in any number of situations. As I have learned to set my own principles and apply them, I have been able to make better decisions. Elder Richard G. Scott once taught, "With such standards you will not make the wrong decisions on the basis of the circumstances or the pressures of the day. Principles that you are determined to live by will keep you on track...Never compromise your principles. Strength and safety come from making no exceptions to them."

As I was reading the Book of Mormon this past week, I read of the Nephite nation as it was almost destroyed. Mormon makes the observation as he writes a letter to his son, Moroni, that the Nephites had gotten to the point that they were "without principle", which left Mormon with little hope of their survival.

Realizing more and more the importance of principles, I am in the process of making a list of my own principles which I consider to be most important. I hope that this list will be a guiding light for me as I strive to live in harmony with Gospel teachings.

Identity

I have been thinking lately about identity. As humans, we often characterize, or identify, ourselves by the positions we may have, activities that we are involved in, or groups we belong to. For example, "I'm a soccer player." "I'm an accountant." "I'm Catholic." All three could be accurate representations of certain aspects of a person, but without these things, who would the person be? Anyone of importance?

The late Neal A. Maxwell said, "The validation of our worth really comes from knowing who we are, not solely from what we do." If someone were to ask you today, "Who are you?", what would you say?

We might be tempted to say our name (a mere title that can change), our job, our hobbies----we could literally say any number of things without touching who we really are. Really "knowing who we are" may be the process of a lifetime, but I believe that we can look for help from The Book of Mormon. In the book of first Nephi, Nephi states "...the Lord hath created the earth that it should be inhabited; and He hath created His children that they should possess it."

Could it be that we place too much emphasis in our society on the awards, titles, talents, and positions without understanding our true identity? I think so. As children of God, we are endowed with infinite potential and abilities. We should be able to find our chief source of identity in our divine heritage as a son or daughter of a heavenly, immortal, perfect being. In reality, it is the only thing we all have in common; we may be divided by race, gender, age, positions, economic status, sexual orientation, etc. But at the root of it all, we are still brothers and sisters, children of God.

Walking Around Inside Myself

When I was a missionary in the California, my mission president would often recite a quote he read once from a church magazine: "One must spend time walking around inside himself to answer the hard questions in life." I love the imagery of the quote; it denotes pondering, meditating, and carefully planned thought processes in order to find the answers.

As I was reading The Book of Mormon this past week, the story of the brother of Jared caught my attention. In the first few chapters of Ether, Jared and his family have traveled to the water's edge where the Lord commands them to build ships. Upon building the ships, they discover that there is no way to have light while in them, so the brother of Jared goes to the Lord to find out what they should do. The Lord's response is almost surprising. Instead of giving the brother of Jared the solution or a direction to go, He simply asks, "What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?"---essentially asking, "Well, what do you think?"

The brother of Jared came up with a solution of special, clear rocks that permeated light once touched by the Lord. The solution he came up with was acceptable by the Lord. By the same token, I believe that sometimes, instead of searching for God to give me an answer to a problem, I need to take a step back, ponder on what could be a solution, and then go to the Him, asking for confirmation that the solution is correct. In this fashion, I am able to progress and learn as I "walk around inside myself" searching for what the Lord would have me do.

Judging

When I was first beginning kindergarten, I was excited by the opportunity to meet new kids and have new friends. One day, as I was riding home on the school bus, I remember a young boy sitting in front of me. Desiring to make new friends, I introduced myself. Without any warning, and to my surprise, instead of welcoming my greeting, this young boy punched me in the nose!

From that experience, and numerous others, I have learned of the consequences that can stem from rash judgments. In The Book of Mormon, we learn that "...the same that judgeth rashly shall be judged rashly again..." The word "rashly" signifies acting hastily without due consideration. In our world of comparisons, competition, and ambition, it is often difficult for me to avoid judging. When I do so, I often picture myself as the middle-man. For example, I consider myself to be sufficiently social. Anyone who is more social than me, in my mind, is only seeking attention. Anyone less social than I am is anti-social. Another example: I consider myself to be happy. Anyone more happy than I am is hyper, while anyone less happy than I am, I consider to be depressed. I think one can easily see the irony and rashness of my judgments and comparisons.

In The Book of Mormon, I believe that we can find the best method of judging others. From Moroni 7: 19 we read, "...lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not..." For me, this passage of scripture signifies my responsibility as a son of God to search out the good in everyone. As I focus more on the good in others rather than the "obvious" faults I may see, I am able to free myself from judging rashly, and ultimately from being judged rashly myself.

I know that Christ, as our ultimate judge, will judge us in a loving manner. He will look at the good that each of us attempted and will understand with perfect clarity the faults, weaknesses, tendencies, and temptations that we experienced in this mortal life.

Heavenly Treasures

My thoughts this week as I have read from The Book of Mormon have been centered on a verse I read in 3 Nephi 24, while Christ is visiting the Nephites. Part of the verse reads, "...It is vain to serve God, and what doth it profit that we have kept his ordinances..." I believe that this passage struck me so forcefully because I can see evidence of this viewpoint today. The thought of ordinances, covenants, and faith in God have become seen by the world as "the effect of a frenzied mind" (Alma 30:16).

During His visit to the Americas, Christ talked about worldly treasures vs. heavenly treasures. Although I have read this passage many times, I believe that I am just now beginning to understand the application to my life. Worldly treasures are temporary; they are perishable, can be stolen, and the value will ultimately end at death. Heavenly treasures are eternal; they are accessible even after this life, provide lasting benefit, and continue to be in force after death. Comparing these two types of treasures makes it very obvious the importance of one and the uselessness of the other.

I am in a point of decision-making right now, trying to figure out what the future will hold for me as far as college, a career, and so forth. As I was caught up in these "important" decisions, I took the opportunity to go to the temple. While there, I allowed my mind to relax and to just focus on the work at hand. At the end of my time there, I felt a very clear impression with an answer to all of my current decisions: "Cling to your covenants." Just four words, a very simple phrase, but what an answer it was for me!

I hope that I can always focus on what is most important---my heavenly treasures---the covenants and promises that have lasting value. I know that the restoration of the Gospel brought about the opportunity for each of us to find eternal treasures as we enter covenants with our Heavenly Father through ordinances.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

My twin sister has a Magic 8 ball. When any big decision or wish comes to mind for herself or others, she grabs a hold of the Magic 8 ball and gives it a good shake. Usually, the ball answers with "Try again later", or "Definitely Yes", or some other silly comment. Of course, she is joking every time, but the thought of the ball is what strikes me as humorous: the thought that something arbitrary can control control one's personal future.

Although the Magic 8 ball is a silly example, I believe that many, if not all of us, do not believe that we can control our futures. I came across a simple quote a year a so ago that seemed to speak to me: "Decisions Determine Destiny." I believed it then, and I believe it now.

In The Book of Mormon, a gift is highlighted and talked about as a means to determine our eternal consequences. This gift is free agency. In short, the essence of the gift is that each one of us has the ability to make our own decisions. As I was reading in the book of 2 Nephi this past week, a few thoughts about free agency jumped out at me.

1. Free agency is free, while consequences are not. This may sound simple and a bit redundant, but hear me out. God has given to each of us the ability to make choices without limitations (meaning without anyone to stop or impede us). However, the choices that we make are always connected to consequences that we can not choose. Consequences can be good, or bad, or both, depending on the nature of the choice. While choices can be made quickly, often the consequences linger. We can not avoid the consequences of the choices we make, which can be both rewarding and costly.

2. We are responsible for our own decisions. I've learned this lesson repeatedly throughout my life. Often as a teenager when I was leaving to go out with friends, my mom would remind me with the phrase, "You are your own advocate!" By this, she meant that the conduct of others did not need to affect my own choices unless I allowed it to. She meant that I was free to act without the influence of others. I did not need to do things because "everybody's doing it." What a great lesson to learn!

3. We are able to choose by being attracted to good or bad. Some may disagree with this notion, that there is a moral/ethical right or wrong in life. To make it more applicable, I would like to use the example of breaking the law by stealing. According to the law, stealing is wrong. One might ask, "If stealing is wrong, why do people still do it?" The answer is simple: one is attracted to make the choice to steal because the possible benefit, in his/her mind, outweighs the possible consequences. On the other hand, one is attracted to make the choice to not steal because, likewise, the possible consequences outweighs the benefit. Whether in law, morals, values, or ethics, right and wrong exists, attracting each of us to act. If we were never attracted to a certain choice, we would never make a decision!

I find myself now in an interesting situation in which I do not know what my future holds. I do not know what to study, where to work, or who to date. I do not know where I will be in a year, let alone 3 months. However, what brings me comfort is the thought that I will be able to determine my own destiny, decision by decision, independent of anything (or anyone) else. So, although I may give the Magic 8 ball a good shake now and again, inside I know that the real "magic" lies in my own personal gift to choice.

The Value of My Journal

On my desk, I keep a very ugly gray notebook. The notebook is not in the best condition, and it is certainly not very admirable. But what is contained in the notebook is priceless for me: my own personal journal.

Ever since I was a small child, my mother encouraged me, as well as my brothers and sisters, to begin writing down our own histories. This "history" started out as a very simple form for me---I would draw a picture each Sunday of something that had happened during the week, and my mom would write a sentence about the picture. Journal entries of this kind date back to 1991, when I was just three years old.

Since then, journal writing has become an important aspect of my life. I now have many journals filled with the stories of my life. I am able to write what I would never communicate to anyone; my journals are sacred. They contain my desires, my dreams, my weaknesses, and the things I am most proud of. They contain my experiences: my trials, my best and worst moments, and my spiritual experiences. My journals are of great value to me.

As I was studying in The Book of Mormon this past week, I realized how important "journal writing" is to others. In chapter 19 of Nephi, Nephi gives seven specific reasons of why he writes his own history, including to record his history, spiritual experiences, the things that most concern him, and so others can learn from his experiences and apply them into their own lives. Essentially, The Book of Mormon is a journal, kept by several people, preserved over thousands of years.

Mormon Church leaders have always encouraged journal writing as a way to connect with our future posterity, as well as leaving our own legacy. President Spencer W. Kimball said, "People often use the excuse that their lives are uneventful and nobody would be interested in what they have done. But I promise you that if you will keep your journals and records, they will indeed be a source of great inspiration to your families, to your children, your grandchildren, and others, on through the generations. Each of us is important to those who are near and dear to us—and as our posterity read of our life’s experiences, they, too, will come to know and love us."

So whether it be an ugly notebook or a simple picture, I know that keeping a journal will be a blessing to us, as well as to the future.

Making Use of the Means I Have

So to start off with, I have a confession to make: I am a study-holic. By this I study a lot, especially in comparison to others. No matter what I do, it seems like I always have more things to prepare, more tests to take, and more homework to do. Oftentimes, friends and others around me question why I am studying so much. Maybe I am not as intellectually gifted as others or maybe I am a more diligent student (who knows?), but whichever the answer might be, I found a principle in The Book of Mormon this past week that helped me to feel justified in my study habits.

I found the principle in the 60th chapter of Alma. In this chapter, Moroni, the chief captain of a righteous Nephite army, complains to the governor, Pahoran, for not sending sufficient supplies to the troops. After a stern rebuking, Moroni recognizes that we have to "make use of the means which the Lord has provided for us." Moroni was referring to military means: if the people didn't use their means to fight, they would be destroyed. Although he was referring to military means, I apply this scripture to my personal means as a student. I have been given the means to study, a mind to think, and time to do it in. If I do not take advantage of these means, I will lose out on life, just like the people of Moroni would have lost if they did not use their means.

So, in the end, who cares if I take forever to do my homework or if I have to review a hundred times to prepare for a test? The important thing is that I am making use of the means that are presented to me.

The Pursuit of Truth

I recently was in a Book of Mormon class where the professor offered as his opinion that we all look at the world through our own “lenses”. He demonstrated this principle by putting on a pair of sunglasses, which changed his view in a physical manner. He then suggested that the “lenses” that we each wear are a result of our environments----our beliefs, associations, experiences, and circumstances. For example, a 13 year old boy from Florida will look at the world differently than a 45 year old woman from Sweden. They each have a set of “lenses” that defines the world for them.

As our professor continued to talk, I thought of my own “set of lenses”. I am a 21 year old, White male. I grew up in the rural countryside of Idaho. I come from a large family with many siblings, including my twin sister. I am a college student and a member of the Mormon Church. All these components form part of the way I look at the world around me. Then came the real kicker: our professor encouraged each of us to take off our “lenses” this semester as an attempt to see the world in a different light----in an effort to learn more.

This got me thinking: is it actually possible to separate ourselves from our “lenses”---from our circumstances, our beliefs, and our points of view in order to see things in a different perspective? How can one accomplish such a feat?

As I have reflected on my own life and experiences, I see that it is possible to change our “lenses”. I believe that the way we are able to change is by accepting and applying more truth in our lives.

I recently returned from serving as a full time missionary for the Mormon Church for two years. The two years were full of many experiences and opportunities to learn from others. One person that sticks out to me as I saw her change her “lenses” was a young woman named Jessica. Jessica was a young 22 year old when I first met her. She was bright and already had a career set up for her. She had belonged to a church her entire life and was a Sunday school teacher for that church. She felt very comfortable and content with her life. She began meeting with us in an effort to find out “what was wrong with the Mormon Church,” as well as methods to help others to avoid the Mormons.

Although she was terrified as we first began meeting with her, she quickly grew comfortable with us as we met with her more. We taught her that The Book of Mormon was the only way that she would be able to discover the truth or falseness of our message and church, and we invited her to begin reading it. She was reluctant at first, but soon became enthralled by the many stories, lessons, and principles that the book contained. She began taking thorough notes of the things that she was learning. In a matter of a few weeks, Jessica’s lenses had changed. She had discovered more truth to add to the truths she already held dear. She has now been a member of the Church for well over a month and loves the new perspective she has in life.

The prophet Jacob in The Book of Mormon teaches that truth is made manifest through the Spirit because the Spirit teaches “things as they really are, and of things as they really will be…” (Jacob 4:13). I hope that I will be able to see “things as they really are” this semester. Just as Jessica, my “lenses” may change as I learn, accept, and apply more truth from The Book of Mormon.